A day in the life of Walter White wake up in your tighty-whities lie to your pregnant wife. Make sure the lie is completely ludicrous and easily disproven so she knows how little you respect her. Ignore your son. Break into the house of your former student/surrogate son/mistress and launch a series of personal attacks against his character until he agrees to do something for you that will leave him with lasting psychological trauma and probably result in his relapsing. Kill one of his loved ones for good measure. Cook meth. Make flailing Donald Trump hand gestures so that people think you are feeling real human emotions. Cry over the loss of your virility. Throw a live grenade into a children’s hospital or something idk. Go home and lie to your lovely wife some more then throw a bitch fit because she didn’t cook you dinner. Make passive aggressive bedroom eyes at your brother-in-law. Go to bed and get some rest. Tomorrow is another big day.
A day in the life of Jesse Pinkman wake up serve cunt. Smoke a bowl to muffle the voice inside of you that screams how did we get here. How did you let it go this far. To put off facing the reality, the sheer irreparability of what you have done. Be trans at the local skatepark. Internalize everything the worst person you’ve ever met has said to you. Get your ass beat. Find another crusty old bald guy to project your daddy issues onto. Say bitch say yo say this time, I’m out for good, I’m clean for good, just one more hit, just one last job. Lose somebody close to you and wear them around your neck, close to your heart, forever as penance. Go go-carting with your favorite dad Mike. Do a spot-on impression of a puppy on an ASPCA commercial so maybe life will throw you a bone for once. Have internalized homophobia. Act all evasive and shit while other men fight over you like dogs over a choice cut of meat. Maybe if you don’t make any decisions you can call your own, you won’t make any more mistakes. Kill as many in the name of pure love and trust as he did in his own name. Slay all day. Then try to get some sleep. You’ll need all your energy in the days to come.
(via bitrashcan)
chaotic muppets interview
These are the words of puppeteers who should not be up this early
The Muppets are at their best when they’re agents of chaos. My face hurts from giggling.
(via weshouldreallytalkaboutanime)
